Life

This has been a long but interesting week.

Monday through Thursday I had company. A good friend of mine came to see me and it was a very nice visit. There were/are a lot of people who have judged me over inviting my friend to stay with me, and its stressed me out quite a bit. I understand that they care about me and are concerned about me, but I don't regret it in the least and am glad I was able to spend the time with him that we did. He left Thursday morning when I left for work, and I miss him but am glad we are able to talk every day still.

Beginning Thursday night, Tristin has been completely aweful and has really worn me down. He is not listening to me at all, he screams at me, tells me no, kicks me and hits me (or at least tries to), isnt going to bed or doing what he's told or asked in the slightest bit. I have gotten so nerve wrecked over the past three days that it is affecting me physically. I have even gotten to the point of seriously considering sending him to spend time with his dad in cali. I don't understand why he won't mind me. I do the same things my friends do and he listens and minds them, but not me. It's very frustrating. I have listened to all their advice and I have utilized that advice, but it still doesnt work for me.

Every Friday and Sunday Tristin and I go to Murfreesboro with my best friend, Stephanie. Last night when we got back, he refused to go to bed, and I was already extremely exhausted. After he finally passed out (and I don't even know what time it was, like midnight or something), I broke down, and my friend that had come to visit called and talked me through it. Everything that has been going on the past week or so has stressed me out so much (with the exception of my friend actually being here), that Tristin misbehaving last night was the last straw. Then today I was talking to Steph and broke down on the phone with her. She came over with her son and hung out for awhile, helped me with Tristin and got my mind off of things a bit. It helped a lot.

I have learned a lot since living on my own with Tristin. I know that I do not NEED a man to live or rely on. I have wonderful friends. That said, though I don't need a man, I am tired of being alone. I will not settle for just anyone, as I feel I have done in the past. There are specific things I want in a companion and I will not settle for less than I deserve. I am not looking right now, rather am more or less waiting for him to find me.

I have realized that living in this town is driving me crazy. I feel like I am dying inside the longer I stay here. I have been thinking more and more about moving, though its just a matter of where and when that I have not worked out. So that is what has been going on with me and Tristin. Hope everyone else is doing well...or at least better than us.