This has been a long but interesting week.
Monday through Thursday I had company. A good friend of mine came to see me and it was a very nice visit. There were/are a lot of people who have judged me over inviting my friend to stay with me, and its stressed me out quite a bit. I understand that they care about me and are concerned about me, but I don't regret it in the least and am glad I was able to spend the time with him that we did. He left Thursday morning when I left for work, and I miss him but am glad we are able to talk every day still.
Beginning Thursday night, Tristin has been completely aweful and has really worn me down. He is not listening to me at all, he screams at me, tells me no, kicks me and hits me (or at least tries to), isnt going to bed or doing what he's told or asked in the slightest bit. I have gotten so nerve wrecked over the past three days that it is affecting me physically. I have even gotten to the point of seriously considering sending him to spend time with his dad in cali. I don't understand why he won't mind me. I do the same things my friends do and he listens and minds them, but not me. It's very frustrating. I have listened to all their advice and I have utilized that advice, but it still doesnt work for me.
Every Friday and Sunday Tristin and I go to Murfreesboro with my best friend, Stephanie. Last night when we got back, he refused to go to bed, and I was already extremely exhausted. After he finally passed out (and I don't even know what time it was, like midnight or something), I broke down, and my friend that had come to visit called and talked me through it. Everything that has been going on the past week or so has stressed me out so much (with the exception of my friend actually being here), that Tristin misbehaving last night was the last straw. Then today I was talking to Steph and broke down on the phone with her. She came over with her son and hung out for awhile, helped me with Tristin and got my mind off of things a bit. It helped a lot.
I have learned a lot since living on my own with Tristin. I know that I do not NEED a man to live or rely on. I have wonderful friends. That said, though I don't need a man, I am tired of being alone. I will not settle for just anyone, as I feel I have done in the past. There are specific things I want in a companion and I will not settle for less than I deserve. I am not looking right now, rather am more or less waiting for him to find me.
I have realized that living in this town is driving me crazy. I feel like I am dying inside the longer I stay here. I have been thinking more and more about moving, though its just a matter of where and when that I have not worked out. So that is what has been going on with me and Tristin. Hope everyone else is doing well...or at least better than us.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Here we are
Okay so finally I have created a blogspot for Tristin and I. I figure since I have myspace and facebook, why not this too?
Tristin and I are doing well over here in Tennessee. He still asks about everyone and wants to still play with his cousins, occassionally asking "Where my cousins at?" and when I tell him California, he just says "Oh." Then starts talking about getting on a plane to go see them again. LOL.
It has been nearly three months since we moved out of the house with Mark. Mark and I still talk on rare occassion, he is doing well, and we both still agree it is for the best that we ended our relationship when we did. Tristin and I still both miss him, but it is getting easier. We are doing pretty good just the two of us, and are getting better. Fortunately, even though Kevin is in California, his dad still lives here in town so Tristin gets to see him once in awhile. Gives both Tristin and I a little break from eachother, which is generally in need when it comes.
Tristin is 2 1/2 now and is almost fully potty trained. The only time he wears a pull up is to bed and I am going to put an end to that soon enough as I now have a washer and dryer in the house. He is learning new things every day and is so intelligent. He knows his ABC's and can count to 20. He still loves music and I can't tell you how many times he watches The Lion King each week....at least once a day. LOL. I took him to an appointment at the Health department this past wednesday, he still only weighs right around the 30lb mark but he has a belly and is okay. He has his fathers' metabolism, which I'm grateful for. Lol. He is 40 inches tall already and I anticipate that he will be as tall as me with in the next few years lol.
I am still working at Cumberland Plateau Recovery. I have worked there for just over two years now. The people I work for are amazingly generous and kind. I enjoy my job and fear that with the economy the way it is, that it may end sooner than I hope...that the state insurance may drop behavioral health coverage and the state insurance is the primary income for our business. So, naturally, that worries me.
Everything is going pretty well though. I completed the leasing process on my car, so I fully own it now, which is a satisfactory feeling of accomplishment. I never missed a payment and I was never late on a payment. As soon as I get my tax refund, I plan on getting caught up on utility bills and that's me completely caught up on everything. It's a wonderful feeling to not have to rely on child support to get by, though it would help and would be nice, I don't have to have it.
I have a few great friends who have helped me out tremendously in their own ways. One is which my best friend, Stephanie, gets Tristin and I out of town every friday and sunday by taking us with her to pick up her son (fridays) and drop him off (sundays) in Murfreesboro. This has become something that both Stephanie and I look forward to every weekend. She usually drives there, and I drive back. But just getting out of town helps us a lot. Murfreesboro would be the equivelant to going to Sacramento from Chico. lol.
We are both doing well though, and I am doing a lot better being on my own. May even consider starting to date again soon, but don't know. Depends on if there is anyone worth dating that comes along. lol. I have been looking out for Tristin and myself first and plan on doing that no matter what.
I hope every one is well and thank every one for their support. I love you all and miss you all very much. Maybe a road trip in the works for this year, but we'll see.
Tristin and I are doing well over here in Tennessee. He still asks about everyone and wants to still play with his cousins, occassionally asking "Where my cousins at?" and when I tell him California, he just says "Oh." Then starts talking about getting on a plane to go see them again. LOL.
It has been nearly three months since we moved out of the house with Mark. Mark and I still talk on rare occassion, he is doing well, and we both still agree it is for the best that we ended our relationship when we did. Tristin and I still both miss him, but it is getting easier. We are doing pretty good just the two of us, and are getting better. Fortunately, even though Kevin is in California, his dad still lives here in town so Tristin gets to see him once in awhile. Gives both Tristin and I a little break from eachother, which is generally in need when it comes.
Tristin is 2 1/2 now and is almost fully potty trained. The only time he wears a pull up is to bed and I am going to put an end to that soon enough as I now have a washer and dryer in the house. He is learning new things every day and is so intelligent. He knows his ABC's and can count to 20. He still loves music and I can't tell you how many times he watches The Lion King each week....at least once a day. LOL. I took him to an appointment at the Health department this past wednesday, he still only weighs right around the 30lb mark but he has a belly and is okay. He has his fathers' metabolism, which I'm grateful for. Lol. He is 40 inches tall already and I anticipate that he will be as tall as me with in the next few years lol.
I am still working at Cumberland Plateau Recovery. I have worked there for just over two years now. The people I work for are amazingly generous and kind. I enjoy my job and fear that with the economy the way it is, that it may end sooner than I hope...that the state insurance may drop behavioral health coverage and the state insurance is the primary income for our business. So, naturally, that worries me.
Everything is going pretty well though. I completed the leasing process on my car, so I fully own it now, which is a satisfactory feeling of accomplishment. I never missed a payment and I was never late on a payment. As soon as I get my tax refund, I plan on getting caught up on utility bills and that's me completely caught up on everything. It's a wonderful feeling to not have to rely on child support to get by, though it would help and would be nice, I don't have to have it.
I have a few great friends who have helped me out tremendously in their own ways. One is which my best friend, Stephanie, gets Tristin and I out of town every friday and sunday by taking us with her to pick up her son (fridays) and drop him off (sundays) in Murfreesboro. This has become something that both Stephanie and I look forward to every weekend. She usually drives there, and I drive back. But just getting out of town helps us a lot. Murfreesboro would be the equivelant to going to Sacramento from Chico. lol.
We are both doing well though, and I am doing a lot better being on my own. May even consider starting to date again soon, but don't know. Depends on if there is anyone worth dating that comes along. lol. I have been looking out for Tristin and myself first and plan on doing that no matter what.
I hope every one is well and thank every one for their support. I love you all and miss you all very much. Maybe a road trip in the works for this year, but we'll see.
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